Did you know that I have a cat?

It's true! His name is Moe and I am a god to him.

It's Delicious!

I'm thinking of having my name legally changed to, "Chillable Red".

I have a new girlfriend!

It's true!
She's very relaxed.

DID YOU KNOW THAT I'M A "REPUBLICAN... DAMMIT?"

It's true! Most old white guys like me are.